A very wise, and beautiful women once said to me, "when you find the right one, love is easy!" Man was she spot on!!!!! Loving this women is by far the easiest, and most enjoyable part of each and every one of my days. She continues to inspire, and push me way out of my comfort zone. She leads me while allowing me to lead! She gives me comfort, and peace when my mind, and spirit are frustrated and restless! She wraps her heart around my worries, my fears, my desires, and my dreams, until they intertwine so tightly with who she is that they become her own! She has taught me how to relax, how to dance, and how to LMAO at me! So I say to her, "baby you are so right; when you find the right one, LOVE IS EASY!"
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Friday, September 12, 2014
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
1. 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.
2. Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.
3. Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
4. Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner. (www.safehaven.org)
A lot of women can't understand how this women, or any women, could stay after being treated this way. How could she then go on and marry a man that abuses her. Well I don’t believe there's a cut-and-dry answer to that question. However, love can be toxic, and very addictive... like a drug. When this is the case, it becomes a very volatile situation when it involves the wrong person. We, as women, may stay, or tolerate, the behavior a number of different reasons: kids, money, sex, comfort, low self esteem, etc….But, in my opinion, the main reason we stay because we truly believe we can change him. But the harsh reality is WE CAN'T! We think we can fix him, make him put his hands down, make him stop cussing us out, make him stop cheating, etc… We revert back to that emotion of if only we would change whatever we did to set him off in the first place. We start making excuses for them. Listen ladies we all heard them before: I'm sorry! It won't happen again! I love you! I have a problem! Well the only true statement is the latter! He has a problem, and it has nothing to do with you, or anything that you've done! I grew up around so called “men” who put their hands on women, and for every time he apologized, he eventually did it all over again, and each time the violence got worse! I used “we”, because we all have been this young lady one time or another. We all have suffered some form of abuse...emotional, mental, or physical. So let’s stop judging (#JanayRice) her and pray for her! STAND UP AGAINST ABUSE BY LOVING YOURSELF ENOUGH TO LEAVE!!!
Saturday, September 6, 2014
This past weekend, life presented the opportunity for Fredrick's ex-wife and I to meet. I was very apprehensive, because you know we women can be catty. I have never spoken to her before... not so much as hi, so to be in her home felt extremely awkward. My apprehensions were intensified as soon as we arrived. She answered the door wearing...well lets just say "dressed inappropriately", to put it mildly. I thought "hmm, interesting", Lol. But I still showed myself as friendly. I had to remember that we were there for his daughter, and it was important to show her that we are all united in our love for her. I love his daughter like she’s my own, so I immediately presented myself as if I was meeting the significant other of my children's father. I was nice, friendly, relaxed, and down to earth. I shared my opinions and made small talk to let her know, "it's ok, I’m not "that" woman. I have always believed that it was my job, as a mother, to get along with the woman in my children's father's life... after all, if she's in his life, she's in their lives, and if she's a part of their lives, she is absolutely a part of mine. Showing myself friendly, and establishing a comfortable relationship has always been key. My children have never had any issues,or complained about being mistreated. I will add: my kid's 2nd mom is great, and I appreciate all she does for my children! Needless to say, the trip to H-town was a pleasant one, and I hope that she and I can build a good relationship from here. To top it off, "our" daughter had a blast having her parents together in the same city...And she's who mattered most!
Friday, September 5, 2014
A overheard a #woman say, " I'm tired of being single! I'm gonna find me a good man." I thought to myself, " that was me... impatient, insecure, and scared." I felt all of those emotions because I didn't want to face the fear of being alone! "I'm not getting any younger! I have two kids!" These were the thoughts that fueled and fed my fear. I didn't realize that my "searching" was a major part of the problem. Not realizing that I was blocking my view of who God had for me. Experience has shown me that when you continuously ask God for something, rather right or wrong, he will eventually give it to you... either to bless you, or to teach you a lesson. Every man I searched for, and found, the relationship was already doomed because I was out of order. #God doesn't want us (women) out looking; that's not our place. Go through your difficult season of loneliness, learn yourself, explore,believe and be patient! Your Boaz is searching for you!
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Monday, September 1, 2014
Labor Day was perfect! Brunch with the McCollums, a much needed nap, then ended the day in the kitchen. #Health and fitness is a huge part of who we are, so we decided to grill turkey burgers, turkey links, and asparagus. We also made Fredrick's famous detox water for a three day cleanse.
I have experienced a lot of heartbreak and disrespect from men. Eventually I realized that the majority of the abuse happened, not because I deserved it, but because I allowed it. Thinking that if I loved him right, or if I was "nice" enough, he wouldnt disregard my feelings. As mothers we must share our downfalls with our daughters. We must let them know that they're the most valuable beings on earth, and that their happiness is directly connected to knowing their worth, and settling for nothing less than the utmost #love and respect. God created us to love and nurture, and it starts with self; there is an amazing power in the word "NO"!